I am a girl, in case you didn’t catch that, and I love it. I love girl things: purple is one of my favorite colors, I drool over Johnny Depp (who doesn’t?), I wear heels everyday, I go crazy for a cute summer dress, I dance in my kitchen when I cook (but then again so does my husband), and I can’t tell you a single thing about my car.
I work with all guys. My day consists of conversation that circle around sports, beer, rock music (especially Journey), war movies, more beer, hot chicks, and hot chicks in short skirts (which are two totally different things).
I love it. It’s made me realize two ginormous, hauntingly, accurate thing about women. We are catty, and we thrive on drama.
Two things before you all stop reading: 1. This is not true of everyone; in fact I have some incredible friends who run as far away form drama as possible 2. Please remember I did say I am a girl and that I love it.
For a moment let’s just be honest. Truth is you’re probably sitting alone reading this so no one is going to know you admitted that women could learn something from working with men (granted, not as much as they could learn from us, but lets give them this one).
Men are straightforward. They will say something about you behind your back, and then the second you walk back in the room they’ll say it to your face. You never have to guess what they are thinking, and if things really get out of control they just hit one another and then move on.
Again I’m going to ask you to be honest; how many times have you wanted to throw a punch at a friend of yours because she is being ridiculous, but you didn’t because it wouldn’t be nice? Then the second she wasn’t around you called your other friend to “vent” about what just happened. I’ve done that and unfortunately will probably do it again in the future.
Maybe we think we are sparing each others feelings; maybe we think we are doing the right thing; maybe we are just doing what our mammas taught us. Whatever the case it would be kinder to punch your friend in the face than gossip about her behind her back.
My moment of inspiration came from watching the men I work with communicate and I decided if women learned to just tell each other the truth, instead of swallowing it down, or smiling when they wanna cry, or telling someone they are fine when they aren’t, wouldn’t everyone be happier?
I don’t wanna be catty or manipulative or a constant grudge holder. Those things only bring pain and not only to others but to me too. And if I want the kind of friends that will tell me the truth rather than “spare my feelings” promptly followed by shoving a knife in my back, then I need to be the first to change.
Food for thought (as they say) and a challenge for you all. I’m challenging you all to consider acting like a guy when it comes to honesty with your friends. Maybe you don’t struggle with this at all, or maybe you were just thinking about this today. Either way I’d love to hear what you have to say.
Oh and if you need a place to learn how to throw a jab punch, I’m currently investing in a punching bag. You’re invited to come test it out.